Diversity with Dragons, Football and Drama

I was brushing my youngest daughter's hair when I found myself talking about trans people. It happened because a mini-fight broke out between eldest and youngest about how to dress their stuffed bunny for Easter (Let me set the scene: This is right before church and the girls are trying to figure out if they can get our Rector to baptize the stuffed bunny. Spoiler alert: They can't.)

Eldest wanted Chubby to wear a bow tie and youngest wanted Chubby to wear a skirt. I said, "Why not both?"
"Because he's a girl," said Eldest
"No he's both," said Youngest
"That's not possible," said Eldest

And this launched me into a somewhat awkward explanation about how some people are born looking one way on the outside, but feeling another way on the inside. It was awkward, because I'd never thought about how to talk to my kids about gender diversity. There are so many kinds of diversity that young kids aren't exposed to (especially in quasi-rural Pennsylvania.) And if the diversity involves sex and gender issues there's a hesitancy to discuss because the topic is deemed inappropriate for the age.

But why? Why is it inappropriate to discuss gay people, trans people or any other people with non-heteronormative orientations, with children?

I can't think of a good reason. My kids see hetero relationships in cartoons all the time. And youngest liked 'marrying' our neighbor Trevor so much, she did it three times.

Driving in the car with eldest and her friends (10 and 11 year olds) we were discussing Raina Telgemeier's fantastic graphic novel DRAMA.

One of eldest's friends said her mother wouldn't let her read this book because it wasn't appropriate for children. I made that unattractive between-brow furrow with my face as I tried to remember what could be inappropriate in that book. After all, it's for their age, no curse words or drug taking or violence (lots of snarkiness and over reaction but duh, middle grade.)

It turned out to be because one of the characters was gay. I might have gone on a tirade about how if there's nothing inappropriate in the Cinderella love story, then there's nothing wrong with a gay person falling in love in a middle grade book.








So without any more tangential stories about my kids or driving through my neighborhood (the daffs are up! and the crocuses!) here are two books that I read recently which I think are good with gender diversity.


Boy In A Dress
David Walliams

Title says it all. This is a wonderful middle grade book illustrated by the excellent Quentin Blake about Dennis, who likes fashion and football. And thinks that dressing up as a girl is fun. He wishes boy's clothes were prettier. His Dad and his brother are typical British lads who do not understand and push hard to contain what they think is alarming and deviant behavior. Despite the heavy subtext, the book is light, funny and open ended enough to make kids think, without shoving a message down their throats.







Seraphina
Shadow Scale
By Rachel Hartman

I can't believe I didn't know how amazing these books were before. I've been burning through them for two weeks now and I'll likely have a seizure of withdrawal when I finish Shadow Scale. In a fictional world where Dragons not only exist, but can turn into human-like shapes to speak and intermingle with humans, there is an uneasy peace between human and dragon kind. Seraphina is a product of a dragon-human union - human seeming with a ring of silver scales around her torso and down her arms. She is ashamed at being a half-breed and for good reason. Everyone around her distrusts the dragons. But a half-breed is fit to be reviled.

The world building in these books is breathtaking, and the plot is intricate without being cumbersome. The message of diversity is not something that comes out at you like a jackhammer, but one that builds in layers as Seraphina learns about herself and about others like her. Seraphina has visions of other 'half-breeds' like herself and each of them is more different than the rest. Some are nearly unrecognizable as human. Each one challenges Seraphina's idea of what is 'normal'. The introduction of the transgender character Camber is wonderful because we see him in her vision when he is a man, then meet her in person when she identifies as a woman.

All this is seamlessly woven throughout a novel that is high stakes adventure and deeply human—even when the humanity is in the dragons.

New Year Resolution that Does not involve avoiding Cake

I have tons of bad habits. I eat too many Pringles for one. I neglect voice mail messages for way too long. There are lots of things I should resolve to do no longer (or start doing again - like running!)

But there's something that I haven't done in a long time which I miss so much that I've been afraid to start it again.

Paint.

I went to undergrad and grad school for art. I used to have a perpetual line of Pthalo Blue under my thumb nails. I used to draw on anything that would stay still for long enough.

And then, after grad school, I stopped. Hard to say why exactly, except that it felt like I didn't know what to say with art or how to say it. Years passed and I sort of lost my 'hand' That's what happens if you don't keep active. It's a little like what happens to your writing if you don't read, your language gets rusty.

In the last few years I've been helping out at my daughter's school on various projects, like painting a mural for International Fair Costa Rica or Brazil or for the school play (guess who's painting the Great Wall of China for MULAN this spring!) It got my art sense twitching until, right before the new year, I bought myself paints. Brushes. Linseed oil. Sketching pencils. Mini canvases.

I will try to paint at least once a week - and I will just do it without over thinking about it. Without wondering if it was any good or if it *meant* anything. Just for the joy of it.

Here's what I've done so far in January

Better than a diet or giving up trashy TV (heaven forfend!) This New Year's Resolution is guaranteed to make me happy and more creative. What's your (creative) new year's resolution?

What to Get Your Writer Friends

It's the season of giving. (I REFUSE to say 'tis. I just refuse.)

And if you have any writer friends on your gift list, you might be wondering what the heck to get them. A pen? Some paper? A QUILL?

Here, are some suggestions that go beyond a gift card to Barnes & Noble:

His/Her Book
Notice I didn't say 'a book' but your writer friend's actual book. Whether it's a self-pubbed e-book or a traditionally published small press number - SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS' WRITING by buying their book. If you already have their book, buy it and give it to someone else, letting that person know how much you love said book. Nothing feels warmer and fuzzier than spreading the word about books you love (by people you love.)

Here are two books I recently bought for friends, after buying for myself:

Cat Winters. SO GOOD.

Sarah Bromley - so excited, picking up my copy from
DOYLESTOWN BOOKS TODAY!

Time
What all writers want more of (yes, even more than chocolate.) If you can give your writer friend an extra couple of hours where you will watch their kids for them, or where you will pick up their dry cleaning or take up some other mundane task for them so they can have writing time - this is more precious than gold.

Time, The Luxury Edition
If you are feeling flush and/or particularly love your writer friend, you can help ship them off to a writers retreat or conference. Nothing is better for the writer's soul than being forced to be writerly, to put DOWN the dishtowel and be FORCED to be immersed in writing. A retreat is perfect for a writer who just needs to finish the *FUDGECICLE* up. A conference is good for a writer looking for representation, community or guidance.

For writers conferences listed by state, go here.

Writers retreats can be formal like these, or it can be informal - as in one or two nights at a quite inn or hotel.

The Lambertville Station Inn is great for informal retreats - just outside of Philadelphia and overlooking the Delaware river, it's perfect for contemplation.

Pendle Hill, a Quaker retreat and center is wonderful for getting the writer-mojo flowing. No TV's in the rooms, dorm-like accommodations, beautiful, walkable and woody setting and, the cherry on the creative sundae, a 24 hour Art Studio that you can use when you have writer's block and need a work around. I can't recommend Pendle Hill enough.

Encouragement
I have a fridge magnet that I keep on my desk. My husband gave it to me and I don't even have to look at it. I know what it says. I feel the fridge magnet's pull (get it?) every time I get crushed by this writing life.

Sometimes, that is all your friends who write need to hear.

Encouragement, The Luxury Edition
A cheerleader is great. A truly interested reader is even better. My mom is both. She tells me I'm awesome (naturally) but she also reads my books and tells me what she thinks of them. She tells me one character reminds her of a babysitter I had when I was little - and did I mean to write all about Olga? The gift with this kind of interest is that I get a glimpse into how my writing affects someone who isn't the intended audience, but who's opinion means more to me than I can show. If you are that person for a writer friend, take the time to read and comment.

Booze/Chocolate/Comfort Drug of Choice
There Will be Tears. The writing life is basically a mash up of hysterical, joyful and despairing crying mixed liberally with the writer's comfort drug of choice. Give them a whole box of it. A really great vodka. A box of expensive chocolate. A lunch date to a Jersey Diner for Disco Fires (what? That's legitimate!) Whatever gives comfort and fuel to keep fighting the good fight - that's a great gift.

So, what are you giving your writer friends? And what do you hope to get?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Happiest of New Years!

What to Drink While on Submission

I know what it's like to be on submission with a publisher. I am doing it right now, even though you can't see me. It's like FIGHT CLUB because Rule One is that you are not supposed to talk about it. (Rule Two is to take a soap making class from your local community college, to pass the time.)

No. No, no no. Rule One is to write the next book. I am doing that. I am almost ready for little MOA to go to beta readers. I am happy with MOA and it's given me some distance from my baby, erm, book that is out on its own, sloshing in and out of email inboxes.

It's almost Thanksgiving and almost winter, but seasonal changes don't just mean changing outerwear and finally taking down the Halloween decorations. It means (for me) changing what I am drinking.

Last season's drink of choice was the Dark & Stormy. I was feeling a bit 'lashed to the mast.' But my new submission drink of choice—the drink I will enjoy while trying not to worry—is Penicillin. Here's how you make it, courtesy of Serious Eats.

Photo: Jennifer Hess

Penicillin 

• Ingredients:
• 2 ounces blended Scotch whisky (Famous Grouse works well)
• 3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice
• 3/4 ounce honey syrup (see note)
• 3 slices fresh ginger
• 1/4 ounce Islay single malt Scotch (such as Laphroaig)

1. 1
   Using a wooden muddler or mixing spoon, muddle the fresh ginger in the bottom of a cocktail shaker until it is well mashed. Add the blended Scotch, lemon juice, and honey syrup, and fill shaker with ice. Shake until well chilled, about 20 seconds.
2. 2
   Strain into an ice-filled rocks glass (you may wish to double-strain through a fine tea strainer to remove the small flecks of ginger), and pour the Islay Scotch over the back of a bar spoon so that it floats atop the drink.

BUT WAIT! are you on submission and a non-drinker? Never fear!
Here's a gorgeous recipe for a Hot Cranberry Orange Wassail which I've tried and is delightful (would be more delightful with scotch, but that's me...)

What do you do when you are querying or on submission or entered in a contest - when your baby is out in the world and you are biting your nails? How do you cope?

I am THISCLOSE to being finished...

with my middle grade fantasy opus. Which is why I have been ignoring you, blog o' my heart.

What I would like is a t-shirt that says 'SHUT UP AND WRITE' which I can wear when I am distracted by other shiny things. And if I'd been wearing that shirt around you, dearest blog, you would have known that I hadn't died, been deported or gone off grid.

I was writing my freaking former-eleven-year-old heart out.

If you thought going back to high school to your teenage self was hard (it is) going back to the edge of puberty is harder. Because you don't know who you are - you're not even sure that you get a say about who you are going to be. You are still wondering what happened to believing in Santa Clause and fairies. I had to do a lot of gentle excavating with a pick axe and a brush to get down to my eleven year old self. But she was there. And she shared her Twizzlers with me.

That's the world I've been living in and it's hard and awesome. My beta-peeps will be getting this draft in December and I will be able to start thinking about my next project.

What have you been up to?