Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Through the Wormhole - Cutting Bangs

In celebration of Einstein's 134th birthday, I'm joining in the Wormhole Blog hop (hop along, little bunny, at the bottom of this post and join in).

Where would you go if you had a guaranteed round trip ticket through a wormhole to anywhere in time?

1999 was the worst year of my life. I know, life isn't over yet, so it could definitely get worse, but let's be optimistic. In that year my friend was diagnosed with leukemia, another friend with ovarian cancer, my soon to be father in law was diagnosed with Lupus and I moved, grudgingly, from London back to New Jersey.

So why would I go back to 1999? So I could sit on Jenny's bed and cut her bangs. That night in September, we knew she was sick, but didn't know how bad it was. She was 29 and healthy and she was only in St. Vincent's for tests, observation. This was before the intubation, before the chemo, before the hospice, before the last day. I want to go back to that night when it was just me and her and she asked me to cut her sun-gold hair, because her bangs were too long, they were getting in her eyes, and she didn't want to ask a nurse to do it. I did it, not really very well the first time. Jenny looked at herself in the mirror, flicked her hair a bit and asked me to do it again. That was very Jenny. She was kind and generous but had no time for a half-assed hair cut.

Of course I didn't know it was one of the last times she would be moving around on her own, talking and laughing. I remember with a little shame that I wanted to get it over with, get home. But through the power of the wormhole, I would go back. I would cut her hair straight the first time, doing it carefully and with all my attention. I would be present.

Where would you have the wormhole take you?

This post is part of the National Wormhole Day Blog Hop, hosted by Stephen Tremp, Laura Eno, and myself in honor of Albert Einstein's 134th birthday. Where would you go if you had a guaranteed round trip ticket through a womhole to anywhere in time?

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  1. This post really touched me. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I'm sure the hurt never goes away. I know there have been many times I've wished I could go back and spend more time with people who have passed on.

    I'm glad to meet you through this hop!

  2. That made me tear up just a little. How sad. If only we were smart enough to live every moment as if it were precious and irreplaceable. I have to go hug my son now. :)

  3. Oh,that one made me cry. What a wonderful thing to share a last moment again, but appreciate it more... be more mindful and present in it. Good reminder actually to be mindful and present in the present because we don't know which moments those will be.

  4. I'm sure you wish you'd cut them straight the first time and that you'd known then how precious that time was - but then you would've been robbed of the last real moment with your friend that wasn't clouded by grief or fear. Great use of the wormhole so that you could live the moment both ways.

    1. this is a really interesting point - I would never be able to go back to that moment without the memory all the sadness and fear of what came after. All I can do is work on being present now and trying not to make the same mistake again.

  5. What a selfless choice!

  6. An amazing sentiment that has stayed with you all this time. I'm sure, up where she is that she' knows your heart now and feels as if you did exactly as you wished you had the first time.

  7. What a touching choice. I'm sure she knows how much you care for her.

  8. Aw...You are a very loving and kind person. What a true and wonderful friend she had with you. She will be there for you one day too.


  9. What a wonderful use of that one trip through time. Breaks my heart just a little. Very touching.

    Nice to meetcha. Count me in as your newest groupie.

  10. A very moving use of a wormhole! We all need sweet friends like that! :)

  11. Oh my gosh... totally tearing up over here. Very moving way to use your trip.

  12. A heartfelt wish to fix what you were naturally like at that age, too. She probably thought nothing of it,if it was the usual 'you'. We all wish we'd done a few things differently in the past. Don't dwell on it. Just learn.

  13. Your friend sounds like she was really fun. It's so sad when people pass away so young!

  14. This brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful

  15. You wrote a beautiful entry. I said I would also go back in time, chances are to the mess of my own life. I wrote my memoir and there are a lot of fuzzy, blacked out memories I'd like to re-investigate. I'm sorry for your losses, pretend I'm giving you a virtual hug :)

  16. This brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful

  17. Wow! I'm touched. Thanks for posting and sharing your precious moments with us. And thanks for participating.

  18. Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. What a great blog hop!

  19. Beautiful post Alex. It takes work to be present in this crazy busy life, and your writing here is a great reminder of how important it is.


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