Running and Writing

In October I got someone else's mail on accident. It was a brochure from the ING NYC Marathon with detailed info on where to go and what to do when I arrived on race day. Pick up your bib here. Leave your bag there. Eat carbs the night before. It was clearly intended for someone who was running the marathon. In that moment, I wanted it to be for me. I want to run a marathon one day. But I'm kind of scared, too. I just started running a year ago and I wasn't in the best shape when I started so it's taken me a while to get to running 1-2 miles every day. Also, before I started running if someone had asked me if I could run a marathon, I'd have replied, "Yeah, sure, you know with the right shoes and training and motivation." Now I know it's much simpler and harder than that. To get to the marathon you have to have your head in the right space.

When I run, the first mile is hardest, I'm saying to myself "I'm tired. I'm going to stop. I'll run for one more song then turn around." I'm looking for the moment I can stop. Then when I get to a mile, it suddenly becomes much easier. I feel like I could go on and on, as if I'd run out of road before I ran out of will. Mile 3 is like smiling when you're not feeling happy. Ha ha. I'm still running, but I'd like to stop now. Ha ha. Can I stop now? I don't know what mile 4 is like because I haven't run that far yet.

That's what writing can feel like. I can feel swift and fleet as a fox for a large chunk of it, while other times I feel like I just want to stop and the only thing keeping me at my computer is will power and the promise that if I just get to the next chapter, I can stop. And there are times when the writing is clunky and not working but I'm doing it -just like the way you bike ride when you're first learning, all wobbles and near falls, but you move forward.

And the finish line? There isn't one, at least not yet.  Maybe publishing is the finish line. I guess with a published book you don't feel the urge to go back and fix things (or do you? any opinions?) but until someone commits your book to paper, there's always something to tinker with.

In both writing and running it's a long-game. It's all about stamina and never giving up.

What keeps you going when you hit the second mile wall?

Here's the playlist I'm currently running to. (Spotify decided not to include two songs on my playlist - I have no idea why - Smart by Girl in a Coma and 212 by Azalea Banks.) (Also, I include the Taylor Swift song mostly to annoy my daughter.)

X is for X'd out Eyes

and Y is for Why me?

Apologies for the lateness of these posts. As often happens in the 24th mile of a marathon (the marathon being the A-Z blogging challenge. See what I did there? Marathon, 26 miles, alphabet 26 letters - I know, genius, right?), some runners go down.

I did, on Friday. After doing my 20 minute Couch to 5K run in the morning and feeling pretty damn proud of myself, I settled down to do a little light weeding in the vegetable garden. When I got up again I found that I couldn't straighten out my back and, oh yeah, was in excruciating pain (so THAT's where Cruciatus curse comes from...) So I looked like this (except I'm not a fish)

After seeing the chiropractor twice (and doing my writer's group via google+ hangout and percocet - I was either really insightful or really unintelligible), I have been told that the likely culprit of the back outage was not the weeding, it was in fact the running I've been doing for 4 months.

THE RUNNING. The one healthy thing I've been able to start and maintain for any length of time in my entire life. The only time that exercise has ever made me feel good and I've look forward to doing it again.

Y Me? Running is fun. It's FREE. I already know how to do it and I need no special equipment. I was going to do a 5K in the Fall. I was going to buy the Run! Zombie! app (more on that tomorrow when we finish up A-Z with, ahem, Z) I was more depressed at the prospect of not running than the pain I was in. That was thing making me cry like the kid who lost her balloon at the zoo. Inconsolable.

OK. Pity party is over. (thankfully short, no?) My chiropractor is awesome and she's promised to work with me so we can modify my running and get me back to something, some form of something. No promises, but she said I might not have to give it up forever.

Tomorrow morning I plan on getting up, putting on my running pants and shoes and walking for 30 minutes. I can finish listening to the audiobook of Mockingjay and tell myself to TAKE IT SLOW.

I'm not good at slow.