No, You're Wrong OR Agreeing to Disagree

Before I wrote my book I wondered how the hell I'd ever survive a critique.

I mean, I was the kid in elementary school paralyzed by scrutiny. Standing at the blackboard, 46 eyeballs burning into my back, my sweaty hand clutching a stick of chalk. I'd pray for the answer to the math problem to pop into my head or the bell to ring early, or the earth to swallow me up. Then there was college where I'd sit through excruciating art critiques, convinced that I must be bleeding somewhere from the verbal savaging I'd just gotten.

I'm not good at critique.

For sensitive people like me, critique can feel like wearing all your organs on the outside of your skin.

But I'm (pleasantly) surprised that a) all the feedback I've received on my writing has been respectful and b) that I can say, "No you're wrong."

I guess I was afraid I'd be swayed by opinion. If someone (or worse, sometwo) says "You know, this is a middle grade book." I think about it (a lot) and come back with "No." From some magical font or just from bloody mindedness, I've gotten the strength of conviction.

That doesn't mean that I disagree with all feedback, of course not. But, dammit, I've got a bell in me  that I can sound. And if it rings true, I know it. Even if I don't want it to be true, I know. Same with feedback that doesn't ring true. What the hell is this bell thing anyway? Is it confidence? Authority? Stubbornness? I don't know. But it's my frigging bell.

This is a very long way of saying that, I've learned to not be reduced to jelly by feedback. I've learned how to rely on my vision for the book and not be sabotaged by others opinions.

Can you tell I'm in deep revising again? But it's good! I am understanding things I didn't fully understand before. And the story is getting tighter and tighter.

So, how do you stand by your convictions in the face of critique? How do you say "No, I won't change that." to crit partners, beta readers, your mom?

Bucks County Writer's group is GO!

Amazingly, it didn't end in tears.

This weekend we held the first meeting of our writer's group. I baked cookies and Laura and Greg and I talked about our work. No one died, except metaphorically, as the person being critiqued is 'killed' so that s/he can't speak during their crit. As you may have guessed, I was the most vocal dead person ever. I suck at being dead. I didn't argue with anyone that they were wrong - mostly because their feedback was insightful and as soon as they said it I was like 'duh! why didn't I see that' - but they had so many questions that I kept shaking or nodding my head and piping up when I was supposed to be dead as a parrot.

One of our members, Laura, posted her experience of the first meeting here - and I pretty much agree entirely. It was fun, motivating and remarkably painless. Cookies are the way to a writer's heart, apparently. I think I knew that. The best thing about it was that a few months ago, this group didn't exist. I just made it up and hoped someone would buy it. It worked (for now). and that's what I love about writing. I am literally making this shit up as I go along and it becomes real. What an amazing scam!